At the time in my life when my faith was being tested, I prayed.
My life was filled with prayer from a very early age.
My mother’s example of praying while she worked (I think the only time she isn’t praying is when she’s speaking — and she does a lot of that too!), had been instilled in me. I attended Mass on Sundays and followed all the devotions of Catholicism.
But during this period of my life, the practices of Catholicism weren’t addressing any of the deeper questions I was being faced with. I spoke to priests, nuns, friends and family, but no one could tell me what I needed to hear, as Catholic dogma seemed so embedded in their responses.
So I prayed
I told God that I was beginning to doubt His existence.
I told Him that I had everything I thought I wanted, but that I was very unhappy.
I told Him that no human so far could tell me what I needed to know.
I told Him that if He did exist to please show me.
I told Him that if He would show me, I would walk His way.
I prayed ardently and my prayers were answered.
Sensing the Angels
The Angels began to amass around me, frequently and seemingly without warning.
I would be doing the washing and I could feel them. I would be folding the washing and I could feel them. It began to become clear that when I was doing the washing, they would arrive.
I knew they were there as I could feel their presence.
This was not the first time I had felt the supernatural in my life. I always felt moved at the consecration of the Eucharist during Mass, and was often tearful on receiving Communion.
I’ve since learned that this is referred to as the ‘Anointing of the Holy Spirit’, and I’m not surprised that I was later guided to a spiritual practice (A Course In Miracles) which are teachings given to us by the Holy Spirit.
It has become a cornerstone in my life.
There were many other occasions where I experienced the supernatural moving in my life, but none in such an immediate, unmistakable response to my desperate prayers.
One day, as I was hanging the washing, I felt the Angels surround me. I looked up toward the sky and said, ‘I know you’re there, I can feel you’. After this acknowledgement from me, a question began to repeat itself over and over in my mind.
‘What’s the matter Karen?’
And I would answer, ‘I don’t know.’
This questioning went on for a very long time. Maybe 18 months. I felt at times I was going a little mad.
Then, an earthly angel was brought into my life, and everything changed for me from then on.
Guidance from an angel on Earth
It was at this time that my brother was dealing with some personal loss, when he met a wonderful woman, named June. June is an Earth angel. A clairvoyant/medium who serves God and humanity alike.
My brother was the one God chose to introduce me to June. God knew that I trusted Mark implicitly and that I knew my brother would never mislead me. He didn’t.
June helped us both tremendously and opened her very select circle of friends to us. She knew we were both genuinely in need, and we were incredibly grateful for her faith in us.
June explained my awakened mind to me, and how and what it was perceiving.
Whilst I had always been this way, I had been dismissed as overly sensitive, or that I read too much into things. I was just telling things as I saw them, but not everyone saw what I was seeing.
Still, my perception was widening, and I needed June’s guidance to navigate my new awareness.
Finding my way
The grace which brought June into my life, was the same grace which lead me to surrender to God. It was grace that surrounded me with Angels, and grace that changed the course of my life, as I had known it, forever.
The innocent little, kissing girl of my childhood had lost her way. And grace shook my life till all the falseness fell away, and redeemed her.
The most terrible, trying point in my life was the most blessed, as it returned to me my most precious treasure: awareness of my innocent self.
I love that little girl within me: free-spirited, unaffected and loved.
To reclaim her I had to let go of everything that I had replaced her with. Whilst this was very difficult, it was also essential; and I understood this.
I feel that Grace’s gift of returning to me, the little girl I once was, offers hope to everyone who has lost their innocence to the world.
And as grace offers you hope, I offer you this blessing:
May she fill you with laughter, silliness and joy
And may you keep her safe always.
With all my love
Image credit: John Kroll