Mark, my brother, has been responsible for introducing me to many new and wonderful experiences.
He has, on numerous occasions, acted as a true friend and guide to me through the more difficult challenges I’ve encountered in this life.
Here’s Mark’s grace-filled story of his passage from the dark night of his soul, into light.
I’d reached a stage in my life when I no longer believed in God.
At the time, I knew little about spirituality apart from the teachings of the Catholic Church, which I grew up with.
My partner would talk about auras, Guides, the Light and past lives, but I was very sceptical about these New Age things. It’s just that there was something about the way he spoke about them and believed in them that meant I didn’t discount it as nonsense.
It was the sudden end of that relationship, in August 1994, when everything changed. And, from my perspective today, I can say that the end of that relationship was one of the most important events in my life.
Things started to happen to me the day after the relationship ended.
I was desperately trying to understand what went wrong. While alone in my flat, I began asking questions of whoever might be listening. Words began appearing in my mind which I knew hadn’t originated from my own thoughts.
I knew something mystical was going on.
But I was having a lot of trouble getting on with things 8 weeks after the relationship break-up. I decided to see a tarot reader that had been recommended to me.
When I asked a friend about this he said, ‘No Mark, don’t go to a tarot reader. Go and see June.’
I’ll never forget that first meeting with June and the hour of that reading.
I’d never been to a clairvoyant before, and it wasn’t at all what I imagined it would be. I was given a new way of looking at myself and the person I could potentially be.
And, most importantly, June suggested I start to meditate. She told me I’d very easily make the link with my Guides.
I didn’t know what that meant, but I had every intention of doing it.
I started reading books about spirituality and self-help. I started with June’s little book, Love is the Link, which she gave me at the reading and which I finished that night.
In the book, June speaks about Guides and their role in helping us. I was brought up believing I have a Guardian Angel and so recognised this was just another name for the same thing.
I realised that to ‘make the link with my Guides’ meant to be able to connect and communicate with them more clearly. Our Guides know all about us and hear us when we ask for help. So it was about making changes in me and the way I lived that would enable me to hear them.
So I began to meditate every day.
I kept a journal and wrote about how I was feeling, what was happening in my life and what I was dreaming.
After a time, I realised there were some important things I had to deal with. So I spent some time in hypnotherapy, which really helped to push things along.
My new awareness about things brought new people into my life. But it also meant moving on from others.
This was hard.
My friends could see I was changing in some way and some of them were very concerned; my parents most of all. I started telling my friends about the things that were happening to me — I was so excited that I wanted to share it with them.
I soon realised this wasn’t such a good idea. It only made them worry all the more.
My greatest ally was my sister, Karen. It turned out that things had started to happen to her some months before. It seemed we were on a parallel course and this strengthened the bond between us.
It was June’s sister, Elaine, whom I saw for hypnotherapy during December, January and February. It was through Elaine that I first had an opportunity to talk about the things I was learning.
Elaine was in the group that regularly ‘sat’ with the Guides. June’s husband, Tim, is a trance medium. He allows himself to enter a very deep, meditative state so that his Guides and others are able to speak through him.
Hearing Elaine speak of them, I wondered if I might ever have the chance of sitting with them.
June called me in February and asked if I’d be interested in joining one of her spiritual development groups. This became the two hours of the week I looked forward to most.
We meditated, chatted about what was happening in our lives, listened to June’s experiences, and worked on our psychic ability. Most of all, I enjoyed hearing about the Guides, their lessons and the work of the ‘inner circle’, as June called it.
A couple of weeks into the group, June told us that during a sitting with the inner circle, the Guides of two of us in the group had visited. She said no more than that, but I was certain one of those visiting Guides was mine.
I worked hard and diligently on myself through the early months of 1995.
The combination of my daily meditation, reading relevant books, challenging myself, and June’s spiritual development groups, allowed me to develop a new awareness of myself and a new way of looking at the world.
Meditation enabled me to discover my connection with God, my Guides, my fellow humans and the other inhabitants of our planet. For this reason I became vegetarian. I came to realise that compassion is an important part of spirituality.
In less than six months my life had gone through quite a change, and the pace only picked up as the year progressed. But that’s because I wanted it that way and asked for it daily.
In August, my hopes were realised. June asked me if I’d be interested in sitting with the Guides.
I was asked along with three others I’d met through June’s development groups. I felt very privileged. It wasn’t until October that I had that first sitting and there were some important happenings in the meantime.
In early September, I had the meditation I’d been waiting for.
Meditation for me has rarely been amazing visual journeys and endless messages of guidance. It was then, and is now, a way a centring myself, focusing my energy and connecting with God.
My meditations are more about experiencing my self. The guidance comes at other times when I need it or ask for it.
But this particular meditation is what I’d been working toward.
I’d sat quite unintentionally one Sunday morning while I was listening to Beethoven. The meditation was deep and toward the end I realised I was happy. I was happy with my home, with my pastimes and with the person I was.
And then a feeling began to well up inside. I don’t know where it came from but I soon realised what it was and I knew I had to say: ‘I love you. I want to be with you. I belong to you.’
As I said the words, I began to cry with happiness.
I felt unworthy.
I realised God was with me and I was feeling His love.
Even though I found it so overwhelming, I also realised that what I’d experienced was the tiniest speck of all the love that exists with Him.
For all the amazing changes and developments that had occurred since that first day in August 1994, my life hadn’t become easier.
In fact, in some ways it had become harder. I was asking to move forward, so my life took twists and turns and threw up challenges to give me that opportunity.
That first Sunday evening I was to sit with the Guides I wasn’t scared but I was certainly anxious. I had no idea what to expect.
After we said a prayer of protection and opened the circle, I remember my heart beating quite rapidly while we sat quietly awaiting Tim to enter trance.
Eventually a voice came from Tim; it was one of his Guides*. The moment I heard that voice I felt like crying.
I remember June introduced the Guide as ‘one of the big dudes’. The Guide responded with, ‘Have you heard the one about the two Guides who went into a bar?’ We all laughed and the atmosphere instantly relaxed.
The Guide proceeded to ask each of us why we’d come to sit with them. He then allowed us to ask questions, some of which he wouldn’t answer. Later, one of June’s Guides* led us through a guided visualisation.
It was to be some weeks before I’d sit with the Guides again.
A couple of weeks later, June called to give me a message she’d received.
I was to be prepared for a change in energy because I’d soon be linking up with my Guide. I’d already become aware of this energy in my meditations.
In the following weeks, during June’s Wednesday development group, things really progressed. My Guide’s presence had become much clearer to me.
During one group, June said she could see him standing in front of me with his hands directed at my third eye. A couple of weeks later she said he was so close to me that we were almost as one.
In late November, June and Tim decided it was time to commence weekly sittings with the Guides.
The Sunday arrived and I remember feeling quite strange. I had a very deep meditation around midday and I had to nap in the morning and afternoon.
I felt something was going to happen that evening but I didn’t want to think too much about it.
The group began with Tim’s Guide allowing us time for questions. Following that, he began to speak about energy. He said that the important thing wasn’t knowing the name of our Guides but being able to recognise their energy.
He asked me if I was able to discern my Guide’s energy and asked me to describe it. It was a tingling sensation that started at my right ankle and spread along the outside of my right leg.
Tim’s Guide suggested we have an exercise in recognising changes in energy. He stopped talking and soon there was a change.
June recognised it immediately as her Guide. June’s Guide spoke for a little while and then Tim’s Guide returned. He wanted to try the exercise again and asked us to discern the next change in energy.
I knew what was going to happen.
I could feel nothing except my heart pounding in my chest.
June had detected the change and was questioning the being.
‘What is your name?’ ‘My name is Gideon.’
‘Are you a Guide?’ ‘Yes.’
‘Are you the Guide of someone here?’ ‘Yes.’
I was unable to say or think anything as June continued, ‘Are you Mark’s Guide?’
He smiled and I felt a sudden, massive shift of energy in my direction. I burst into tears.
June continued asking him questions.
‘Why have you come tonight?’ ‘To strengthen my connection with Mark.’
‘Have you come to this group before?’ ‘Yes, once.’ This was at the beginning of the year when June had told us of it.
June asked me if I had anything to ask him. I had loads of questions, but all I could say was, ‘Thank you for coming’, and continued crying.
Months earlier, I’d met Gideon in a meditation one Saturday morning.
I was in a room with a knight who was preparing for battle. I asked this person if he was my Guide and he said he was.
Shortly after that, in July, I had a hypnotherapy session with Elaine. I felt a massive amount of energy during that session and Elaine described to me the being she had seen with me.
She thought he was a priest because he wore a white robe with a red cross on it. But she was surprised he was carrying a sword. This made sense to me because he had appeared to me as a knight. Elaine then suggested he might have been in the Crusades.
Months later I discovered that this was the case.
That first evening, however, when I met Gideon through Tim, I didn’t see a knight.
To me he appeared as a radiant, golden light. I was dazzled by the brilliance and the love that was being directed at me.
Before he left he said, ‘Mark, you will always remember this feeling.’
At that moment, the signature energy changed. It was no longer the familiar tingling along my leg. The feeling was around the right side of my head and the sensation was far more subtle.
Over the next five months, Gideon visited the Sunday evening group three times. Of those, there was only one when I had the chance to ask him questions.
He talked about his last incarnation on Earth when he was a Crusader. And I discovered that we haven’t had any past lives together.
My spiritual journey has been, and continues to be, very exciting. I was lucky to have met June, Tim and Elaine, who’ve been an inspiration. But I know that the Guides would say that luck had nothing to do with it.
Meeting Gideon and the months of working with the Guides was the most wondrous experience of my life. I feel very privileged to have been able to do it.
I learnt a lot about myself and my path through questions I asked them, and through the exercises they and other Angels gave us.
They’ve helped me to realise that life is not to be feared and wasted but loved and experienced.
*The names of these Guides haven’t been used.
Image credit: Spirit-Fire