Positive + Positive = Positive

Many people talk to me about positive thinking.

They often tell me they’re doing their best to avoid negative people. But what they don’t seem to understand is how negative they themselves are being in that very moment of judgment.

Positive + Positive = Positive

A statement reflective of this might be: ‘I’m working with positive thinking and I’m finding I’m just getting on so much better with everyone!’

Positive + Negative = Negative

That statement might go something like: ‘I’m working with positive thinking but all the negative people are getting me down.’

Choosing to see someone as negative only adds to your isolation and can only result in you becoming even more negative.

Being positive isn’t about avoidance

Being positive is a lot like being brave.

We’ve heard so often how bravery comes not from the absence of fear, but from overcoming it.

Positivity is the same. It doesn’t come from the avoidance of negativity, but from remaining positive despite it. Otherwise, to remain positive we’d all have to become reclusive!

That doesn’t mean we should all go looking for situations that don’t reflect what we want for ourselves. Quite the contrary. By honouring what we truly feel and what we want, it’s much easier to align with grace and remain positive.

Positivity is about seeing what’s best in every given moment. It’s not always easy, but it’s always rewarding.

The reward of positivity is grace. And the gift of grace enhances positivity.

For no apparent reason, wonderful people and experiences find there way to us because our minds see the best — even when it may not be evident to others.

Staying positive means seeing the best in others

When someone’s down, it’s not always easy to listen to their complaints, particularly if they complain often. It can be easy to think of them as a negative person. But when we do, we only add to the negativity in them.

By not seeing the best in them, they’re unable to be at their best. Our lack of faith in their goodness and positivity, renders it impotent in our presence.

Each conversation with such a person presents us with the opportunity to be creative in how we respond to negativity.

It’s not for us to decide whether or not the person accepts what we offer. Sometimes we are simply planting a seed. We may never see it grow. That ‘s OK.

The point is for us to accept the challenge to be creative and to grow in positivity ourselves.

Of course, it’s important for me to mention that I’m still a work in progress with regard to being positive.

Finding a balance between healthy boundaries and helping those in need isn’t always black and white.

Occasionally someone will become dependent without realising the subtle implications. Knowing that you’ve helped someone and when it’s appropriate for them to stand a little more independently, is an art form in itself.

And if you have this level of awareness, it’s likely you’re already a positive person.

Like attracts like

But so many people seem fixated on why they’re attracting negativity to themselves instead of focusing on how they respond to it.

I feel when people choose language that places blame on others, they’re not asking ‘how may I help?’ but ‘why are you bothering me?’

A Course in Miracles suggests we always apply the ‘Golden Rule’ in such moments:

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Patience, tolerance, kindness and compassion are some of the answers to the question: ‘Why am I attracting these negative people to me?’

If we’re seeing someone as negative, our tolerance needs to grow.

If we want to experience the reward for our efforts in positive thinking but only seem to be seeing more negatives coming our way, we need more patience and faith.

If our awareness is more on what we’re attracting than on being kind to those in our immediate presence, then more selflessness or kindness is needed. Or even just a simple awareness of how others feel may be what’s lacking.

These qualities all require space inside us to flourish and grow. This is why taking time for ourselves is so important.

Growing virtues takes time and care. We each need to reflect on which qualities we currently possess and which still need to be cultivated so that we have faith in what we have to offer.

Being positive requires patience

But just possessing these qualities isn’t enough.

They reside inside each and every one of us waiting for an opportunity to make their début. But for us to enjoy the reward of the strength they offer and to become proficient in their use and application, they require daily practice.

Whether we choose to share them is entirely a personal matter. However, it’s important to remember that when we don’t give of ourselves, or share what’s inside us with others, we don’t get to experience that part of ourselves either.

When we shut others out, we also shut ourselves in.

How does all of this relate to grace?

Well, if we’re busy noticing how everything around us doesn’t fit with what we want, and we retreat into ourselves to avoid negativity, the avenues for grace all close.

Instead of extending into love, the tendency to contract and withhold leads us to less fulfilling experiences. You could even say, negative experiences.

As grace is usually experienced through lovingness and connectedness, the faithful channel for grace’s coming becomes stifled by avoiding negativity. By avoiding what you don’t want, you block the flow toward you of the very thing you do want.

So for anyone who would like to be an open channel for grace, I offer you this blessing:

With all my love
Karen x

Image credit: oskay